I Saw Larry David...

Sitting on a Train

This column first appeared @ E-Crap in 2009

E-Crap, NY/NJ - Another commuter nightmare, waiting for the North Jersey Coast line train at Newark's Penn Station. The platform crowded with hungry, overworked, overweight commuters, at least one of which would be pressing against me in a double seat once the train arrives. My train was announced as a few minutes late again. Meantime, another train approached on the same track. And suddenly, my commute didn't seem so painful tonight, because as the other train came to a stop, I saw Larry David.

This was no ordinary commuter train, mind you. This was an Amtrak Acela, heading to Boston. It had several bar cars, much wider seats, and instead of scraping and grinding as it approached the platform, it glided. As with most trains, the cars were all well lit. It made it easy to see clearly inside the car directly in front of me. And that's when I saw Larry David on the train.

He pretended not to notice me, as I motioned in my own original way that I recognized him. He had his face straight ahead, staring at his laptop. Yes, the amazing Acela had flip down trays much like an airplane. I always thought him more a magazine reader than a laptop user. He flinched momentarily when the conductor called "all aboard" and a buzzer of sorts went off. But I didn't flinch - I was looking at Larry David.

Behind me, all sorts of commotion was ensuing. The station was announcing my scheduled train was now five minutes late. Other trains were being announced switched to other track platforms. Once the Acela moved out, it would be minutes before my train finally arrived. It was raining outside, and getting colder and darker. I was hungry, and starting to feel a cold coming on. It seemed everyone in my office was getting sick. But tonight none of this mattered, because I saw Larry David sitting quietly on the train.

As his train began to pull away, I instinctively began to follow it down the track, like a love-starved girl, or a pet missing its owner. I wanted to tell everyone on the platform to look in the car I was following, and to join me in this once-in-a-lifetime experience, but I didn't. I finally stopped following when the car went beyond the waiting platform. It was then that I reaffirmed to myself that I had indeed seen Larry David on that train.

Riding home that night, I realized how drab and uncomfortable my commuter train was. I wanted to be on that Acela, with wider seat, cash bar, and smooth gliding sound. I wanted to spaciously maneuver my laptop, and be the envy of other commuters as I pulled into various stations throughout the northeast. I wondered why some celebrities would decide to take a train instead of flying, but that Amtrak looked awfully inviting. I kept thinking about these things, but more than anything else, I kept remembering that just minutes ago in clear view, with indisputable video evidence, that I saw Larry David sitting on the train, and nobody could take that away from me. 

Kaneman

for E-Crap.com

 

Facebook Twitter YouTube