Entry #1 - Miley

Entry #2 - The LeBron Platform

Entry #3 - Banksy Revealed

Entry #4 - KramerCare

 

Kramer Invented Twerking (see entry #1 on the left menu to see how he did it)

Entry #3: Identity of Mysterious Artist “Banksy” Revealed

Jerry is sitting on his couch with the front door open, while Kramer moves a bunch of gothic chess pieces between his apartment and Jerry’s for “safe keeping.” Newman crashes through Jerry’s door, carrying 6 or 7 cans of spray paint.

Newman: Where’s Kramer?!?!!?!??

Jerry: He’s moving some chess pieces. What’s with all the spray paint?

Newman: The Super just threatened to kick me out because I’m late with the rent! I need Kramer to spray paint my refrigerator and a couple of tables right now!

Kramer enters Jerry’s apartment, polishing a rook.

Newman: Kramer! You need to spray paint me some furniture right now! My life depends on it!

Kramer motions to Newman to shhhshhh!

Newman: You mean Jerry doesn’t know?

Jerry: Know what?

Kramer: Alright!!!! The cat’s out of the bag! I’m Banksy!!!!

Jerry: You’re Banksy?!? The mysterious British graffiti artist in NYC for a month that the NYPD has an APB out to arrest for defacing public, and private, property!?

Kramer skips, and reluctantly nods his head yes.

Jerry: But how? Banksy is British, and you don’t even know how to pop the lid off a spray paint can.

Kramer: I know. It just happened. I was at the 2012 Olympics in London with my pal, Ryan Lochte. We’ve been swimming together in the East River for years, so he wanted me there for good luck. So you know how I always scratch “Kramer was here” into park benches. Well, we’re hanging out in Hyde Park and Ryan finds an opened can of spray paint, and tells me to spray paint his name on a monument there. Luckily, the lid was already off, and I start to spray but the nozzle is clogged. I take the nozzle out to clean, and as I shake the can paint started coming out. I can’t stop it so I aim it at the monument. The royal monument is completely defaced! Then some Brits come by and start admiring my work! I hid the spray can under my shirt, and Lochte, you know he’s a joker, he tells them the artist’s next creation is going to be unveiled in 30 minutes near Big Ben. He wants to play a joke on these blokes. But that’s a 45-minute walk and we can’t find a bus or cab! So we run the whole way there, and Ryan stops at a “pound store,” like an American dollar store, and picks up another can of cheap spray paint.

Jerry: Who removed the lid?

Kramer: Lochte did. But by the time we got to Big Ben, the area is swarming with tourists! Then we see the same guy from the park, and he tells us he called the newspaper and word leaked out. So there’s no way I can spray paint without being caught. Across the street, we see a Pizza Express and everyone’s eating, but next to there is a Barclays Bank, and it’s quiet. So we go there like we’re using the cash machine, Lochte covers me, and I unleash the spray on the cash machine. All of a sudden I see a cloud of paint fumes over my head. It’s like a cartoon Jerry, and it’s heading right for Big Ben! Next thing, the tourists see and smell the fumes, and head straight to the bank! We run around the corner to hide, and again everyone is admiring our work. Two guys even try to remove the cash machine from the wall by chiseling, to steal the art! The police show up, arrest those guys and ask who defaced the bank. Some tourist said “some artist spray painted the bank, see?” but he spoke in broken English and everyone thought he said it was “Banksy.” That’s where the name comes from.

Jerry: But you were only there for two days. How did you do three years’ worth of work in two days?

Kramer (half crying): I guess I couldn’t stop!

 

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