Entry #1 - Miley

Entry #2 - The LeBron Platform

Entry #3 - Banksy Revealed

Entry #4 - KramerCare

 

 

 

 

Kramer Invented Twerking (see entry #1 on the left menu to see how he did it)

Entry #4: KramerCare

(Kramer barges into Jerry’s apartment while Jerry is rehearsing lines for a new TV ad, as he is the new spokesperson for a Brooklyn-based comedy training school)

Kramer: Have you seen Newman?

Jerry: I try not to.

Kramer: Damn! We launch in less than two hours, and he’s nowhere to be found.

Jerry: I’m going to hate myself for asking, but… launch?

Kramer: KramerCare Jerry. KramerCare is becoming a reality, but our advertising budget is limited, so I had to make Newman my partner. He’s going to distribute 200,000 flyers via the US mail over the next week, starting today. At 5 copies per penny, I’m already over budget, and now Newman is missing. Thank goodness we found that copy center in Chinatown, well in that alley in Chinatown or I’d be deeper in the hole.

Jerry: KramerCare? Is that like ObamaCare?

Kramer: It’s healthcare for REAL New Yorkers, Jerry. And I have Bill de Blasio to thank. After he spanked me in the Mayoral race (Kramer acts out shooting a basket in reference to his failed Mayoral campaign on the ‘LeBron Platform’), I knew I needed to do something for the people of New York. The real people, Jerry. Not the phonies on Wall Street, or on Project Runway. True New Yorkers, struggling comedians like you, homeless, drug dealers… you know, people who can’t afford ObamaCare but need coverage. So I came up with KramerCare, and it is the only alternative for these people, my people. But advertising is expensive, so I needed to find a way to get the word out there. It was either Newman or I jump off the George Washington Bridge holding a KramerCare banner, but then who’s left to run the company?

Jerry: What company? You don’t even know how to use Excel, never mind run a healthcare company.

Kramer: Oh, I’m not going to let you or any other non-believer bring me down, Jerry. KramerCare offers real solutions to those who cannot afford ObamaCare. And that is pretty much everyone in New York City since most are unemployed, or employed illegally. My coverage is only $5 per month! Five dollars, Jerry! Less than a grande café latte! And it covers everything! A KramerCare certificate of coverage, which you’ll need in case, you know, you need to prove coverage. And most important, no deductibles! I tried the Marketplace and to get coverage, my deductible was like a trillion dollars. A trillion dollars, Jerry! Who has that kind of money?

Jerry: Deductibles aren’t a trillion dollars!

Kramer: You keep believing, Jerry. You are so brainwashed by the government, you’ve become one of ‘them.’ You probably voted for Bill de Blasio, and you probably think ObamaCare is a good thing! Well it’s not! KramerCare is $5 a month, no deductibles, and you get a free Quick Pick Lotto ticket after your 6th consecutive month of coverage. And customers even get a phone number to call us. I hope you don’t mind, but until we get in the black, I used your phone number on the flyers.

Jerry: My number! Kramer, no! What if somebody really gets sick on your plan!

Kramer: Come on Jerry, real New Yorkers don’t get sick. They suck it up, or they die.

 

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